In a league full of glad-handing and ass slapping between competing teams, I actually care about the organization and fan base that has supported me throughout my 8-year career
Help us give cancer the middle finger. Buy this shirt and all proceeds with go to the American Cancer Society.
The 3rd Annual Cooley’s for the Cure will be held on Monday, October 10. The event will be at Clyde’s in Ashburn. This year proceeds will go to two different organizations
If you are ever in Leesburg, VA please come check it out. 12 South King Street
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
- The fans were great at practice today, as always, but it makes coming to work much more enjoyable when 10,000 people are cheering for you. On a normal day of work I may catch a ball and get a high-five or two, but today I heard hundreds of Cooooooley chants, you just cant beat that. I don't see why every practice can't be open to the public during camp - it's not like we're giving away our game plan for the first couple preseason games.
- Jason Campbell is on top of his game. No questions asked he is the leader in our huddle. I spent five days in the last two weeks throwing with him at Redskin's Park and he is in outstanding shape. Obviously, he dealt with tons of crap, but the media needs to find something better to talk about. Jason is over it and ready to win games. Enough said.
- The highlight of my day was the Cooley shorts. Last night the team held the opening meeting which is the basic introduction to work talk. Trainers come and discuss hydration, personal conduct is always a mention, we even covered how a conversation should go with a police officer when a player gets pulled over. You know, the really tough things in life. From there the meeting went on to cover our dealings with the media, which is where Z gave what I considered the quote of the night.
"You know what they say about the media, just use the five B's. Be brief brother, be brief."Who doesn't know about the five B's, that's an old stand by. He even asked me about the possible public humiliation of running a blog. All I could do was mention that we now have proper editing procedures.
Zorn then delved into the rules. First rule involving dress code and guys having to wear team colors to practice, as well as proper cuts of the rules. As he was saying this he was wearing his new fashioned Redskin practice pants. He took them off revealing that no one would be cutting off their own sweats, but we would have a seamstress. As Z stood proudly, in his perfectly trimmed sweat shorts, he turned to me and says that we will even have an option for a shorter cut. Z then removed the shorts 99 percent of the team would be wearing and showed off the Cooley cut to a room full of cheers and laughter. Now, everyone thinks this is funny, but I was ecstatic to know that not only was I going to be allowed to wear my shorts, but it was encouraged by the main man.As for how they worked out - I liked them, but I'm pretty sure when I crouch down my junk is hanging out the side. I mean, I have spandex shorts underneath, but I will be fairly conscious when the Washington Post camera people get up close and personal.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Let me wrap up with a couple thoughts. If you're a Cowboys fan don't try to make a point by asking when the last time the Skins won the Super Bowl. Instead ask yourself when the last time Dallas won a playoff game. If you don't like the content on our website, simply don't read it. Calling me a douche and an idiot does not hurt my feelings and neither do fabricated stories. All you do when you comment garbage is offend normal fans and readers. And seriously, the videos are just for fun. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feeling or improve my on field image. If you watched the video then take it with a grain of salt, maybe even laugh. All I'm trying to do is provide people with a couple minutes of entertainment. Believe it or not, Wit Dog and I are actually friends. I'm sure he was not offended.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Part two coming tomorrow. We will give you a chance to see Tony's skills in action.
10 things football makes better.
#10 – Food – I’m trying to figure out how to lose 10 lbs before the start of the season because I know I’m going to put on 15 during the season! Wings, chips, pizza and dips all taste better during football season. I think Velveeta was invented specifically for the NFL season. It gives us all a reason to eat bad foods because that’s what you do during football games. It just is.
#9 – Sports Blogs – Let’s face it, without football, blogs kind of suck. How much baseball can we talk about? How many top 10 lists can we make up? Bloggers need coaches like Dennis Green and Jim Mora going berserk, that’s good material. Bloggers need bad play calling and underachieving draft picks. And let’s face it; you want to come here to see Cooley talking about the Cowboys, not Fatpickle talking about cheese.
#8 – Sundays – Sunday, the day for rest and relaxation. NOT! There should be nothing relaxing about Sunday. Sundays are for getting nervous, excited and pissed at the Redskins…sometimes all at the same time! So forget about reading the Sunday paper in the lazy boy and watching Tom Watson play golf. It’s so much more fun figuring out how you’re going to pay your bookie because Eli Manning threw a pick 6 in the last minute. It was a sure thing the Giants were going to beat the Bengals.
#7 – Sports Talk Radio- Similar to the bloggers, the radio personalities need some material. How long can they talk about the Orioles and Nats losing? What they need is someone to shoot themselves in the leg, they need an owner having dinner with Shanahan, they can run with that. They need the guy calling in who just lost $500 on the Eli Manning play, that’s good radio.
#6 – Beer – Beer is better during the NFL season …oh who am I kidding? Beer is good all year long; the NFL season does nothing to make it better. But, when the Redskins lose, beer helps…temporarily.
#5 – Tailgating- Unless you’ve been to a Kenny Chesney or Jimmy Buffet concert this summer, you probably haven’t tailgated in awhile. Football gives us a reason to do so. Football gives us a reason for more food, Jell-O shooters, tossing the football around and cornhole. Good times with family, friends and strangers. And if you are tailgating, it sounds like Mama Cooley has the right game plan to follow.
#4 – Personal Relationships – From February to July I talk once or twice a month with some of the people that mean the most to me, but come football season, we may talk once or twice a day. We are always emailing, texting or phoning each other to talk about the games and events of the week. Football brings us closer for 6 months a year and I’m thankful for that.
#3- TV Viewing – summertime is the worst for TV, but that will end soon. We now have the NFL channel, the Sunday Ticket and TIVO working for us. We can watch an entire replay of the game in 60 minutes, anytime we want! No more reruns of the New Adventures Of Old Christine, we got choices!
#2 – Hope and Optimism – There is nothing I want to see more than a parade in Washington D.C for the Super Bowl Champion Washington Redskins. As the season starts I feel like that can happen. I see Cooley on the left and Portis on the right, Obama in the middle. I see it. I’m happy. When I finish this post I’m checking flights to Miami. I’m drinking the Kool Aid; I’ve got my Nikes on.
#1 – Fantasy Football – Is there anything better than Fantasy Football? Most of you are probably working on your cheat sheets and sleeper picks already. The drafts (more fun, food and booze) are so much fun. In late August I will travel back to VA for my league’s 12th annual fantasy draft. 12 years ago we were single college aged guys with no wives or kids. We return this year, most of us married, and we now have 12 kids among us. We’re still kids, just with more chins. We come from Florida, we come from Ohio, it doesn’t matter…football keeps us together. And I (the 22 Swinging Dicks) am going to kick some ass this year.Now after all that, I have 1 question for you…ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?
Cheers and Hail
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I do have a couple suggestions, the first being when I threw the keys in with the phone that the cell coincidentally hit the lock button upon landing on the seat, but it just seems unlikely. In addition to that, I not throwing out the fact that someone thought it would be hilarious to watch me struggle trying to get them out. Finally I think I have to consider the angry truck theory. I have driven that truck over 6000 miles in the last month, so maybe it just wanted to have a break. Actually, after more consideration, I'm sure that theory three is what happened.
Now the first thing you have to do when you lock the keys in the car is try yourself. There is a great sense of accomplishment when that door pops unlock and your hand is at the end of the clothes hanger. I know this only because I'm terrible with keys and I have made many retrievals. Although I'm great, I knew after about 5 minutes I knew I was going to need some help. A couple of maintenance guys were already on the way and arrived with big prying screw drivers. We went in through the top of the door after prying it open and tried to touch every button to no avail. The security of the truck must not allow unlocking that way.
Before I knew it there was an entourage of more than 15 Lansdowne workers and golfers combined in this effort. At one point point different groups of people were working on all four of the doors. We got close at one point to actually hitting the unlock on the key fab, but then the keys were dropped on the floor. This was not by me I assure you. There were different looping mechanisms created to try to pull the handle, which worked, but the handle wouldn't unlock the door. I actually athletic taped a stick to the antenna to try to strengthen it so it would push the buttons harder, to no avail. Keys became a major dilemma and I think it got to the point where no one would leave just because people felt they couldn't give into the key.
Then the lifesaver came into the situation. As the struggle began I called Eastern Motors for a little help. I gotta admit, it took them almost an hour coming from the Leesburg store and I had almost gave up on that solution, but he saved the day. The dude pulls out "the real stuff" a long pink stick and a door seal air bag, he then goes to work. No more than 20 seconds later I'm getting into the truck. I did feel pretty bad that I couldn't do it, but seriously I was working with an antenna taped to a tree limb. I just didn't have the tools!
Friday, July 17, 2009
The class I run in races every Saturday night starting at 7pm. It’s basically one of the beginner divisions for kids making their way through the ranks of NASCAR or guys like me that just want to go out and pretend that I’m a big time race car driver. Anyone from the age of 15 on up can participate. This year we had a guy win and as soon as he got out of his car they gave him a breathalyzer test…he failed…yep. He won’t be back anymore. That was a good wake-up call for me, from that point on I saved the margaritas until AFTER the race. We’ve had cars flip, catch on fire, and every other type of crash. If you don’t leave the season without being involved in a couple of wrecks then you haven’t been trying.It's nothing short of the real thing. Girls throwing themselves at you, alcohol and drugs as prolific as a rock star, not knowing what city I'm in from one weekend to the next. It's the life I've dreamed of living. Okay, maybe not but it's more fun than sitting on my ass at home watching Jerry McGuire for the 7th time.
My goal now is to get Chris in this car before the season’s over…ssshhh, don’t tell Z. I might have to put in a bigger seat.
Chris Cooley feels he can be more himself when he's writing his blog.
Jeff Fishbein/Icon SMI
Dan asked Cooley about Cowboys WR Roy Williams deciding not to talk to the media this year. Cooley said that's a mistake.
"I've watched it backfire in terms of Sean Taylor," Cooley said. "In his first couple of years he had a hard time with the media. He was portrayed as something he didn't want to be. It took for him dying for it to come out that wow, Sean Taylor really is a good person. Look at all the good things he's done. And that all came from not talking to the media.
"Our game is run on fans. We're playing this game because people love it and people like to know about us. So I think it's cool to put yourself out there and say this is exactly who I am. This is what I want you to know. This is who I am. This is the type of person I am. This is why you should root for me."
Cooley said that the younger guys coming out of college are all over new media. Cooley said he didn't know what a blog was when he wrote his first one.
Cooley said that the Redskins have called him and asked him not to do certain things. He had one example of putting together this video of burning a horse. He can't understand why the team didn't want him to do that. Cooley said he's not worried about getting fined. He doesn't believe he writes or says things that deserves fines.
Cooley says that he's not a fan of Twitter. He says it's a good marketing tool, but that's it.
On a real football note, Cooley said that Redskins QB Jason Campbell had a rough offseason with the team looking at other QBs. Cooley said that Campbell stayed close to coach Jim Zorn and weathered the storm.
Cooley said he was glad to see Campbell was fed up when the team expressed its admiration of Mark Sanchez around draft time.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
It is bitter for me that two shows that gave me countless hours of entertainment while I studied for my MCATs are no longer on the air. Both these shows were more than generous to me, and they taught me a lot about radio so I am very sad to hear them go and wish them all the best.
However, the change from WJFK to 106.7 the Fan is also sweet. Because now that I have a radio show (The Sports Hub), I feel like it may have a better shot of taking off in the all sports format. What better way to spend some spare time between now and medical school than talking about something I love, sports.
With that said, after yesterday's announcement I had a chance to get Chad and LaVar's thoughts on the change. First I listened to Dukes explaining the flip on JustinTV. Though Chad is torn because he will no longer be on with long time co-host the Big O, he said this opportunity was too good to pass up.
I always thought that Oscar and I would get that show (afternoon drive) but radio has changed. Just like Kodak, they can develop pictures great but now days everything is digital. People can get the scores and hear who won the game anywhere and anytime they want. People want to hear from guys with strong opinions. Me and LaVar both have that. If they (CBS) wanted an uptight golf shirt guy they wouldn't have brought in ol' Chub Dukes.Chad also mentioned that he and LaVar have done some test shows and he feels that LaVar is great on the air. This is something that LaVar confirmed when we talked.
They (CBS) weren't just going to go live without us ever working together. I know I have a lot to say. After doing some practice shows without callers and just talking back and forth I think we have something pretty cool here.
Chad and I both have strong opinions but they didn't keep him to be my punching bag nor will I be his. My opinions won't be biased towards one team or another even though I hold the Redskins close to my heart. What people may not know is that I was born and raised a Steelers fan.One of the main things that LaVar stressed was that he truly is a fan, and he has plenty to say. Many have wondered how Chad and LaVar will work together. So I asked and he laughed and told me,
I have worked with guys with different personalities in the past. I mean I worked with Chris Cooley (laughs). So I think that Chad and I will be great together.The Junkies think the same. On their show this morning here is what they had to say,
This is a legendary talk station making an enormous move to sports. I think LaVar and Chad are going to be a dynamic show. One thing I will say about LaVar, some guys just have that "it" factor, he just has charisma. He wants to talk about more than football. LaVar is fired up to do the show. He is a renaissance man. I can't wait to have him on during the Redskin's season. He said he's not holding back. Wait til the first Chad and LaVar fight. I have no doubt that Chad will get LaVar fired up.
This station is not going to be filtered by an owner. It is going to be live and local all day. And there is one reason that we are going to be called the Fan, we embrace the callers and all the shows are going to be caller driven. Change is coming but it is going to be a good change. They (CBS) aren't going to half ass it.If you are wondering what the rest of the day on The Fan will look like, here you go. Besides the shows, The Fan will broadcast Maryland, Wizards, and NFL games (including the Super Bowl). They are still working on getting a deal that would allow them to do Caps games as well.
Monday, July 13, 2009
1. I think the Washington Redskins are going to have an outstanding season and win a ton of games. We've done everything a team can do in the offseason to get better. Jason Campbell is so close to being one of the best QB's in the league; he will have a great year. Note: I have to say all this regardless, but it's nice to actually believe it.
2. I think all the talk about making young quarterbacks wait their turn and learn before they play is B.S. The best way to get better at something is by doing it, so if they're ready to play, let 'em play. I know teams are very considerate about a player's psyche, but if a quarterback can't handle the scrutiny of throwing a pick in his first season, how is he going to handle it throughout his career? Might as well find out.
3. I think the NFL uniform rule is much too stringent. Guys are now being fined in the third and fourth quarters for their jerseys being untucked. Assessing a $5,000 fine for an untucked jersey is ignorant. When the thing gets yanked out of the pants it just looks like the guy is playing harder. The NFL is also fining for other minuscule things, like socks not being pulled up enough and hand towels being two inches too long. Obviously, the NFL has to keep things within reason, but insignificant uniform infractions do not affect the integrity of the game.4. I think, sticking with the game-integrity theme, I don't know why touchdown celebrations are being eliminated. I'm not a celebration guy myself, at all, but it's part of what makes our game exciting. A touchdown is a huge moment in a game and a huge accomplishment for a player, so take it easy on fining guys for having a little fun celebrating. Besides, the last time I checked the NFL was an entertainment business, and I love watching the creativity of guys like Chad Johnson.
5. I think adding two extra games to the regular season would be great if the league would shorten the preseason by two weeks. Also, the pay raise would have to fit accordingly. With all the offseason work players put into today's game, the six weeks of training camp and preseason are a burnout. Plus, what fan wouldn't rather watch real games?
6. I think I made the Pro Bowl the last two seasons. This offseason, Tony Gonzalez and Kellen Winslow were traded into the NFC, and with young guys like Greg Olsen becoming better players, it will be very competitive when it comes to filling the two NFC tight end spots in this year's Pro Bowl. Oh, I forgot to mention Jason Witten.7. I think the Pro Bowl should never leave Hawaii. No questions asked, it is the best place for all the players to get together with their families and celebrate a great season. Miami, the site of the 2010 Pro Bowl and Super Bowl, will be too crazy the week before the Super Bowl for anyone to relax.
8. I think if athletes/celebs are out having a good time, fans should not try to take advantage of them by sneaking photos Online. Cell-phone cameras are out of control right now. Just shake hands and say hello. Oh, and I know that if someone tries to video me taking a piss again, I'm not going to hesitate to punch them square in the face.
9. I think putting peanut butter, mustard and ham on a sandwich is awesome. The three ingredients are magical when put together.
10. I think athletes are usually terrible writers. "Cough! Donovan McNabb!" To be honest, most of the time I can't stand to read anything football players write, sorry Matt Birk. Now after stopping for a minute, I'm pretty concerned about what I've put together. Oh well, one thing's for sure, I can take a hell of a lot of criticism.
I was very excited to be asked to fill in for Peter King this week, though I'm slightly disappointed to be the third person asked -- I mean, seriously, Trent Green? Still, this is a very cool opportunity, and I am happy to do it.
A couple of weeks ago, I squatted over my helmet next to Shaun Suisham on the practice sideline of Redskins Park. It was your every-day water-cooler dialogue, the kicker being the guy who has nothing to do, ever, and then lingering around, begging for someone to scheme with. Conversations with a kicker are typically nonsense-filled ideas ranging from Barack Obama staring down girls' backsides to Michael Jackson's death dragging his estate out of debt. Every so often, we even talk about football, but with a kicker it's usually something about how a holder's chubby, jittery hands can mess up an entire season or why adding two games to the regular season would be so much harder on a kicking leg.
Our recent talk actually led to a profound idea. The topic was actually brought up in a kicking state of mind, wondering why the goal posts don't continue upward for another 10 yards, thus eliminating any judgment call about whether a field-goal attempt is good when the ball is kicked above the end of the bar. Then the brilliance of Smart Football was born!
Many judgment calls should be taken out of human hands. Just ask anyone from Baltimore if Santonio Holmes crossed the goal line or any Chargers fan about the Ed Hochuli blunder that led to San Diego losing in Denver last season. Those two calls alone spurred enough controversy about the NFL's referees and replay system to demand some kind of change.The correct call in every crucial situation would purge a lot of ugly emotion and relieve tension, but can the human eye be correct every time? Seriously, look at the Holmes catch again. Watch it from every possible camera angle, then try to decide for sure whether it's a touchdown. Smart Football eliminates the guesswork.
The system begins by placing sensors in both tips of the ball and then it works with a laser or GPS system. At that point, the possibilities are endless. Technology is so advanced that determining anything that happens on the field with the ball is possible. The sensors indicate the instant the ball crosses the goal line, or any line for that matter. This eliminates officials having to slog in from the sideline, peer over 22 enormous men and try to determine from memory where the ball may have reached.
It doesn't have to stop with the end zone, the league can sensor the first-down markers, as well. Furthermore, it wouldn't be so hard to tell when a ball started or stopped moving forward or backward, which would, accordingly, determine forward progress. I'd be willing to bet Al Davis would have paid Smart Football to give Oakland the opportunity to take Tom Brady's fumble and go on to the Super Bowl.
Yes, this great new method also applies to kickers and Suisham's short goal-post theory, though it can't make ex-punters any skinnier. Goal posts are simply extended by shooting a laser upward, easily determining whether ball went through.
Oh, and before complaining about how much this would cost, consider that I'm talking about the NFL. The league in which defensive tackles receive $100 million contracts. I think there would be a way to swing some GPS technology on the field. Just maybe.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Back to the bulls, it was great being the asshole in the stands cheering for the their team. I spent the entire afternoon staring down this Trisha Yearwood looking yokel, and screaming "Let er' Buck!" at the top of my lungs. Truthfully, I was surprised her snake skin wearing man didn't have anything to say to me, but in retrospect I am a pretty big dude wearing a bad ass bandanna. I guess it probably wasn't just Trisha who was upset, after I got turned down for my fifth buck off, high-five celebration I knew I wasn't a welcome. But who cares, I was there to rodeo.
Monday, July 6, 2009
A couple months earlier Tanner, an undisclosed reporter divulging phone numbers, and myself were having a few beers and making prank calls. After a few calls Andrea Kramer's number came up and we had a great plan. The message that was left went something like this. "Hey this is Chris Cooley, I just left the bar where I was sitting next to Rachel Nichols, she was talking crazy shit about you. Rachel says your the worst, manliest reporter she's ever seen and she can't stand to work with you another day! Hiccup! Laugh, laugh, laugh." Click. It was a call that we found funny enough to repeat every couple weeks. Actually it's still funny while I'm writing this and Andrea will probably be getting a call in the next couple days.
So I was guessing she had talked with Andrea and figured out who was making the nonsense calls and was coming to confront me about it. But to my surprise she came to talk about E60 coming to my house to do a segment for their show. I was a little relieved. Actually, I was pretty excited about the whole deal and after some of the details, thought it would be pretty cool and easy to get done. In April they came over to my house in Virginia and spent some time with us trying to get everything together. They filmed interviews with Christy, Tanner and myself. We spent a couple hours talking to them on camera, then they wanted to film me painting in my art room. They also filmed me pretending to work at the computer, like I was doing a blog. All was fine and for the last couple months we have been recording every E60 on TV, never to see our episode.
Then a few weeks ago I got a call from the producer saying they wanted to come to Wyoming and I could take Rachel fishing and we could do some more stuff. We met in Cody Wyoming and I had a great plan to take them up to the spot where I caught all the fish the other day. They said they didn't have enough time so we had to arrange going back to my property and fishing on the river there. I guaranteed no fish, but they said it would still look cool and no one would care, whatever.
What didn't get explained to them was that it was a hell of a hike to get from the spot where you drop off the four wheelers. They had to drag their asses and the camera shit about a half a mile over the rocky hillside to get down to the river. So much for not enough time! I then proceeded to untangle Rachel's line for the next 30 minutes while we pretended to be fishing. Sorry Rachel, I know you did get better at it, but you casted like a seven year old girl with an arm full of barbies.After the fishing it was like a barrage of doing everything I like to do in my life, but in intervals of 15 minutes. Just enough time to not do a good job of it. We painted, we did pottery, we hiked around, we fished, we talked and talked. I ended up spending about seven hours with the crew, but it was actually a really fun day. Everyone I worked with was great, Rachel was awesome and at one point she actually turned into intern girl and ran to Subway to get everyone lunch.
I just hope everything turns out okay for the segment. Before the crew left I had asked them if they thought my thing would be cool no less than 25 times. Whatever, but hopefully I'll love it. The show will be coming out in the next couple months, so I will keep everyone informed on when to set their Tivo.
Friday, July 3, 2009
As I prepared earlier in the week for opening day my main goal was to out-fish my dad, or at least keep up. See, the problem is that he only fishes with worms and I really haven't since I was a kid. It's not that I can't do it, I have just been fly-fishing and making my own flies for a long time, so I like it much better, but back to the problem. We took a couple preliminary runs in the upper part of the river (where fishing was open) last week and I wasn't able to catch anything. Bullshit! Not to mention that my dad may be the best worm fishing, trout catching, making fun of fly-fishing easterners man I have ever met. I had to do some research. It had been at least a couple years since I've casted my fly rod, so I felt like all I could do was get better.
I went into Cody Wyoming and found a couple fly shops, the first being "The Humble Fly." The guy was really cool and talked to me about how fast the river was flowing and how my flies weren't getting deep enough in the water. He gave me a couple patterns and we talked a little bit about how to tie them with more weight and get them closer to the bottom. Then I told him about not getting killed by my worm fisherman father. He chuckled and said "You know why they let little kids fish with worms right? Because it's so simple anyone can catch a fish with a worm. There is no challenge."
Just hearing that made my day. I couldn't wait go get home and give my dad grief about it. I also couldn't wait to get back to the house and get to work on making some of the flies and after about two hours of tying I had produced a plethora of North Fork ready nymphs. was ready to dominate some trout.
That morning we were up with the meadowlarks and on the river ready to fish by 9:00 a.m., only slowed once by the amazing tastes of Taco Johns. I mean, who can resist the Ole' Breakfast Scrambler?
Fishing started hot and stayed that way through the day. In the first hole we stopped I caught 2 rainbows and we never looked back. At one point I actually pulled out a fish four casts in a row. By the end of the day I had caught so many fish that my thumb was bleeding from all the teeth marks and to be honest the competition between my dad and I dissipated as we lost track of how many fish we had actually caught. Christy was even able to catch three or four - she has to let them all go, not wanting to do harm to any living thing. As we left the river were tired and hot, but had an amazing time and a stringer of fish for dinner.
By the way. I will be fishing with Rachael Nichols for ESPN's E60 today. Hopefully we can have a repeat performance.